Budweiser takeover bid: That’s what you get for the Clamato venture!

Oh, for …. It’s not even worth it. This blog entry, I mean. Then again, the proposed beer deal is questionable, too. Clearly, InBev’s $46.4 billion takeover bid for Anheuser-Busch is about money and market share. InBev, a product of the 2004 merger of Belgian and Brazilian companies, brings to the table reputable labels including Stella Artois and Bass, as well as the ever-popular Beck’s. Anheuser-Busch, of course, is responsible for that best-selling atrocity known as Budweiser.

The proposal has sent ripples of dismay through Budweiser country. Missouri Governor Matthew R. Blunt called the offer for the St. Louis-based megabrewer “deeply troubling”, and said that he was putting state resources to the task of keeping Anheuser-Busch in St. Louis.

There are all sorts of (not quite) dramatic considerations. Anheuser-Busch could make a play for the other half of Grupo Modelo in order to raise the takeover price. The company is ill-suited, compared to other large corporations, to fend off a takeover. A rift may be opening within the Busch family. And InBev chief Carlos Brito has emphasized concessions intended to sweeten the deal, including headquartering in St. Louis and making Budweiser the flagship brand.

This last, of course, might seem a surprising suggestion for a company with reputable names in its stable, but in the end it’s not. This is, after all, an attempt to create the world’s largest brewing company: that Budweiser is a crime against beer is of little concern when the stakes are so high. After all, Anheuser-Busch is iconic, and Budweiser a household name.

And while the takeover, if successful, would mark the end of an American era, it is probably too much to ask that the product quality somehow improve. Budweiser is, after all, a trademark in repugnance. Barring that, however, Carlos Brito could win much affection by publicly terminating, denouncing, and promising to never make such a horrendous mistake as the Budweiser & Clamato venture.

Headline of the Day

“Herpes: It’s Got New York by the Balls” (New York Magazine)

Oh, har, har. Like we couldn’t see that one coming. I mean … never mind.

Twenty-six percent of citizens who live in the five boroughs are walking around with herpes, a full 7 percent above the natural average. Here in NYC, the rate is even higher among women, black people, and gay men. Straight white men, don’t think you’re safe — you have all of us herpes-ridden women and gay men still running around trying to trick you into having sex with us.

Twenty-six percent? Holy shit!

Even scarier, the national average is nineteen percent. I mean, think about that. At one in four, New York City is deviantly high, compared to one in five nationwide. I’d call it a crap shoot, but you might think that’s a gay joke.