Who Would Jesus Screw?

Detail of a Chick (tract)So here’s one of those … er … hypotheticals—you know, a what-if proposition that never really happens, right?—to consider: Imagine a pregnant, single woman working at a Christian college being called into the administration offices to be fired for engaging in premarital sex. Now, the first thing to mind is, well, it’s a private school, and a Christian one at that, so we can expect the institution to have some conduct standards others might find a bit odd.

But that’s where the story takes a strange turn:

Teri James, 29, told the news outlet that she did sign a two-page contract with San Diego Christian College that included a provision agreeing not to engage in “sexually immoral behavior including premarital sex.”

“I needed a job in this economy and so I never thought that anything would happen,” James explained to “Today.”

But James said she was humiliated after being pulled into her supervisor’s office last fall, where she was asked if she was pregnant and then was let go. After James lost her job, she claims the school offered a position to her now-husband, even though they were aware he’d had sex before getting married, too.

(Boldface accent added)

In fairness to SDCC, we should note that the school has not yet acknowledged that they offered the female fornicator’s job to a male fornicator, so Christians concerend about the delicate suggestions of hypocrisy in the name of faith can relax and just remind themselves that it’s a woman, and therefore a slut, and thus is only making it all up.

The rest of us will simply watch, with equal measures of amusement and disgust, as the school tries to talk its way out of this one.

In the end, it’s a matter of appearances. That is, one can see the evidence of Ms. James’ fornication; there is no hiding it. But her boyfriend, now husband? Well, he doesn’t carry pregnancies, so there is no visible evidence, so they can all just pretend he’s a virtuous man.

Or something. I mean, if you’re thinking, There must be more to this, well, there probably is. But nothing says those other aspects are obliged to make any sense.