Brother, Can You Spare an Answer?

Every once in a while a question occurs, and it’s true I only ask it in limited circumstances. Still, it persists, because I never have encountered an actual functional answer.

Okay, guys, work with me, here.

Why is female reproductive and urogenital anatomy an insult?

This Has Nothing To Do With You

Really?

This is a bridge too far?

So, let me get this straight: It’s important to be out of the closet as a homosexual, but just don’t act like it?

Is that really what you want to stand on?

The strange thing is that we’re drilled for this. We’re practiced. We know what to say and what to do and how to handle ourselves.

But to sit in one’s own living room, and have that conversation?

Really?

This is one of those things that is supposed to be happening out there.

It is not a shadow you want looming over your name.

You will not behave this way.

You will not leave me to feel this way.

This is not how it goes.

I promise.

Metro-what? Tell me you’re … you’re not? Damn.

Those who know me are aware that I stand somewhat at odds with traditional masculine stereotypes in American culture. Thankfully, this story comes to us from overseas. Reuters says:

Men have become so openly affectionate with each other using mobile technology they’ve taken to signing off text messages to male friends with a kiss (x), giving rise to a new generation dubbed “Metrotextuals.”

New research from mobile phone firm T-Mobile reveals nearly a quarter of men (22 percent) regularly include a kiss on texts to their male mates, T-Mobile said in an emailed statement.

“Metrotextuality” is most widespread among 18-24 year old males with three quarters (75 percent) regularly sealing texts with a kiss and 48 percent admitting that the practice has become commonplace amongst their group of friends.

Nearly a quarter of this age group (23 percent) even appreciate an “x’ in a text exchange from people that aren’t close friends.

But it’s not just younger men that have become Metrotextuals — one in 10 men over 55 often completes a text to another male with a kiss, according to the poll.

The research also revealed there’s a certain etiquette within metrotextuality. A lower case “x” is the preferred sign-off for most (52 percent) compared to 17 percent for a bolder upper case X), with one in three sharing the love in a big way with multiple lower case kisses (xxx).

Look, it’s real simple: No, no, and no.