There are some strange laws out there. This we know. These days, though, I generally only hear about them when the codgers and curmudgeons I know want to complain about how the whole country is going to Hell. Well, it would appear that, although we suspected already, we Americans are not alone.
The BBC reports on a UKTV Gold survey of nearly 4,000 Brits, asking their opinions on the most ludicrous laws:
The UK’s top 10 most ridiculous British laws were listed as:
1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen’s image upside-down (7%)
3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%)
4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned (5%)
5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter (4%)
6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet (4%)
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)
8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour (3%)
10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%)
Well, okay. We have always regarded the British as at least a little strange. But it’s not just their laws:
Other bizarre foreign laws voted by those polled included:
• In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk (9%)
• In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation (8%)
• A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror (7%)
• In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm (6%)
• It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle in Alabama (6%)
• In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed (6%)
• Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth (6%)
• In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits (5%)
• In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon (4%)
What? I mean, it is easy enough to figure how one might come to devise the Bahrain law about mirrors and genitals. Admittedly, the scenario seems like a bigoted farce, much like the thing about Indonesian masturbation. But for some of these, we really are left wondering why. Seriously, why do I remember a Jeff Foxworthy bit like this? Do not have sex with your wife once her water is broken. Something like that. Apparently, that warning needs to be given. But driving blindfolded in Alabama? Getting a fish drunk in Ohio?
B.D.'s Last Refuge 