Another real headline

Another real headline:

Terrorists ‘could use exploding breast implants to blow up jet’

The story, via the Daily Telegraph:

Radical Islamist plastic surgeons could be carrying out the implant operations in lawless areas of Pakistan, security sources are said to warned.

Explosives experts have reportedly said just five ounces of Pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate packed into a breast implant would be enough to blow a “considerable” hole in the side of a jumbo jet.

It would be virtually possible for airport security scanners to detect the explosive if hidden inside a breast, medics have said.

Joseph Farah, a terrorism expert, told The Sun: “Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaeda are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery.”

Plastic surgeons may also have inserted the chemical into the buttocks of would-be suicide bombers.

The discovery was reportedly made after Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, a London-educated Nigerian, attempted to blow up an airliner bound for Detroit on Christmas day with explosives packed into his underpants.

Hours after his attack failed, British intelligence services reportedly picked up “chatter” from Pakistan and Yemen that alerted them to the bizarre new method.

I’m waiting for the B-class horror version: Tits of Terror, starring Nicole Eggert and Karen Black, directed by Uwe Boll.

And, yes, we’ll skip the predictable clichés.

World’s Dumbest Crimefighters?

And here I was complaining about reality television … what, just yesterday? It might be time for a new reality show: World’s Dumbest Crimefighters.

The BBC brings us the latest in brilliant anti-terrorism tactics:

Irish police have released a man held over an explosives find, after Slovakian authorities admitted planting them in his luggage.

The explosive was one of eight pieces of contraband placed with unsuspecting passengers at Bratislava Airport last weekend, broadcaster RTE reported.

The 49-year-old unwittingly brought the material into Dublin when he returned from his Christmas holidays.

He was arrested on Tuesday morning but has since been released without charge.

Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern said he was very concerned that Irish police had not been alerted for three days.

Airport security detected seven of the illicit items, but the eighth – 90g of research development explosive – managed to escape detection.

What, aside from, “I would hope TSA isn’t this stupid”, can we possibly say?

The Beeb also notes that—

The Irish Army said passengers had not been put in danger because the explosives were stable and not connected to any essential bomb parts.

—but, come on, isn’t that just a statistical finding? Are they telling us there is no way these explosives could have detonated? Imagine the news report:

Terrorists struck in Dublin, Ireland today, on a flight that coincidentally crashed of its own accord. According to statements from the three surviving passengers, the flight went fine until the landing, when one of the gear broke on touchdown. Passengers celebrated surviving the rough landing until the bomb, hidden in the luggage compartment, exploded, igniting the plane’s remaining fuel. Four members of the rescue squad were also killed in the explosion and fire, while six more were taken to area hospitals with burns ranging from moderate to severe.

The Slovakian government sent its profound condolences, and thanked the Irish for “courageous” attempts to help Slovakian citizens aboard the plane ….

I mean, really. No danger?

How reckless, this war on terror?