You make me feel like a natural woman?

Via BBC:

A woman who was banned from making loud noises during sex has lost an appeal against her conviction.

Caroline and Steve Cartwright’s love-making was described as “murder” and “unnatural” at Newcastle Crown Court.

Neighbours, the local postman and a woman taking her child to school complained about the noise.

Mrs Cartwright, 48, from Washington on Wearside, lost the appeal against a conviction for breaching a noise abatement notice.

She argued she had a right to “respect for her private and family life” under Article 8 of the Human Rights Act.

But Recorder Jeremy Freedman, sitting with two magistrates, rejected her claim that she could not help making the loud noise during sex.

He said: “We are in no doubt whatsoever about the level of noise that can be heard in neighbouring properties, in the street and in the back lane.

“It certainly was intrusive and constituted a statutory nuisance. It was clearly of a very disturbing nature and it was also compounded by the duration – this was not a one-off, it went on for hours at a time.

“It is further compounded by the frequency of the episode, virtually every night.”

Forty-seven decibels this couple can achieve. At least, that’s according to the Sunderland City Council, who actually put some effort into finding out just how loud they were.

Apparently the story here is that in 2007, a court imposed an abatement notice prohibiting the couple from “shouting, screaming or vocalisation at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance”. And Mrs. Cartwright has since thrice been cited for violating that order, and will stand trial next month for being too loud of a fuck.

Write your own punch line.