Flaccidware (v.1)

Something happened to software while I’ve been away. See, for instance, I don’t use Microsoft. I loathe Windows because whatever it is you think you’re doing, that is second priority to Microsoft, at best; it’s probably more accurate to say whatever you intend to do, wherever you intend to go today, Microsoft wishes to disrupt you along the way.

I actually had to ask where Notepad was. Then again, I don’t feel too stupid, since apparently a lot of people asked. The Microsoft support response was written in Second-Language English; we can tell how much Redmond cares.

Then again, Windows might be the great failure, but it is hardly alone. Turns out the malfunctioning whatever the hell that was mounted on the seat in front of me on the flight to Japan was Linux, which is unfortunate since it takes effort to fuck up like that, but I should also remember to avoid the hell out of software when my friends tell me how much I need it. To wit, I still don’t get what is so cool about Gogo. It’s terrible software that served me exactly none on the flight. Indeed, it was worse than nothing because I foolishly forgot myself for a moment and apparently expected it to work.

Still, I haven’t used Microsoft much in recent years, and figured the fact that it is actually painful to look at was just a result of the users I happened to know. No, no … it’s Windows. This OS looks like shit. It’s slow. Its first purpose seems to be advertising and promotion. I actually wonder if anyone in software is capable of writing a program that does what it is supposed to do. And then some days I remember of course they can, since all any software is intended to accomplish these days is advertising and revenue collection.

And this godawful “Nextbook” thing I’m trying to use? It forgets itself, can’t wake up properly, and is pretty much a disaster. Its two upsides are that I didn’t buy it, and I won’t be obliged by circumstance to use it.

Google = Idiots?

Some people just don’t appreciate subtlety. Still, though, it’s other people catching these little moments and posting them, so even though I would have done it without the big red letters mucking up the scene, my hat is off to a fellow named Jerry who forwarded this image along to one of his favorite columnists:

And that one came in response to this capture:

Giving thanks: counting our blessings

Many thanks (I think) to Wm.™ Steven Humphrey, for this … um … yeah.

And as Humpy suggests, if the gay black guy in the cowboy hat can thank Sarah Palin ….

Very well: Thank you, Governor Palin. For many years, a certain kind of crass politics, invested in brutish ignorance, has held inordinate sway among voters. The grotesque caricature you (unwittingly?) offered us upon your debut at the GOP convention all the way through Election Day and beyond provided a kind of mirror for the American soul, into which millions of American voters gazed and finally understood that they did not like the reflection. Thank you for helping to elect Barack Obama. Americans everywhere owe you great thanks, and we would be even more in your debt if you would now, finally, shut the hell up and not bother us again.

WALL•E redux (Mudede philosophizes)

Just a note related to my recent post considering the accusations of fatism in Pixar’s WALL•E. Over at Slog, Charles Mudede offers a philosophical analysis of the film:

Point One:
In WALL•E, human evolution from normal weight to overweight is concomitant with their evolution from animal …

… to animation.

The transformation, which is pictured on the commander’s wall, has this as its meaning: the infantilization of humanity is the final result of the capitalist mode of economic production and parliamentary politics. It is not without meaning that the last organic things are infantile humans (Neitzche’s last man, the absolute couch potato) and cockroaches. The superman—that rare and wonderful thing—has been reduced to a weed in a boot.

And so on, and so forth ….