Kitty Kitty Clickbait Christ


Religious clickbait.

A couple of things here.

First, stop with the clickbait, people. Sure, there is a season, turn, turn, turn, and all that. A time and place for everything, you know? But even longtime friends, not just the newly-agreed Facebook friends, do this to each other, and it has to stop.

To wit, there is some video going around of some dude absolutely mangling Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, and doing so for the honor of Christ.

Okay, that’s not fair. I haven’t watched the video. And I won’t.

Why? Because when people send you a link via social media and instead of the actual content they’re sending you to an advert page with more clickbait for the website, that’s simply it. Strike one, and this particular form of stupid shit is out.

Which in turn brings us to stupid shit.

You know how every year we hear FOX News and a bunch of pastors reeling under the magnitude of their own perceived inadequacy complaining each year about a “War on Christmas”? Okay, so here’s the deal: To the one, it’s not a “War on Christmas” if people simply aren’t giving one religion a privileged place in our society and laws over another, and so far neither the FOX News crowd nor the self-loathing religious activists are prepared to indict the Bill of Rights as a conspirator to this so-called “War on Christmas”.

To the other, Christians need to stop declaring war on good taste.

Look, there is a reason Leonard Cohen can write and perform a timeless classic like “Hallelujah”. Likewise, there is a reason bands like Stryper could only pen ridiculous odes to Jesus in the style of a teenage makeout song. (No, really, have you never heard “Calling on You”?)

So, you know, just fucking stop. Genuine friendship lasts forever, but that doesn’t mean I won’t dump you from my Facebook feed. I would like to care about what’s going on in your life, but when that amounts to paying attention to you and your wife discussing dinner plans online, or, I don’t know, your life really does orbit clickbait, it would seem that you don’t want other people to care.

The thing about this is that these people aren’t idiots. They’re smart people. And then Facebook came along.

No, really, it’s kind of like the thing with cats. There has long been a joke about the Japanese and cat videos. It’s prevalent enough that even the Japanese make it. And you know why it has stopped being a joke? Because Americans have figured out how easy it is to muck up everyone else’s Facebook feed with endless parades of cat videos. And with some of these people, you end up wondering: “Wait a minute, you have cats! What the hell, man? Why is this funny? If I want to see a cat acting like a cat, I’ll go talk to the one in the next fucking room!”

Kitty-kitty-clickbait.

Christ.

Just … fucking … stop.

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