“Whether or not God exists or does not exist, He has come to rank among the most sublime and useless truths.”

—Denis Diderot

I have long rejected atheism as an identity—though not as a legitimate philosophical or religious outlook—not because I “believe” in God, but because, well, frankly, it’s embarrassing. That is, I get the underlying proposition that there is no God, but atheists never really seem to get past that. It’s almost as if they want to be critics of something, don’t want to put the effort into having a half a clue what they’re talking about, and have rolled out the best excuse they can find for their ill-conceived, uneducated Crusades.

It’s a long list of complaints that have built up over the last twenty years, since I first adopted an atheistic outlook and then abandoned it in the face of a dysfunctional nihilistic demand that requires one’s skepticism be artificially limited exclusively to religion in order to escape, and at no time has the rising atheistic movement offered any real relief. Indeed, the ever-growing body of uninformed mockery the atheistic movement has hurled at religious movements reminds that it really isn’t about whether or not God exists, but finding an excuse to be hateful toward one’s fellow human beings. It’s more about empowerment; they don’t simply want to break the traditional religious power structures in society, they wish to usurp those influences. Thus, even though atheists are supposedly better educated, far too many continue to act just like the idiotic religious neighbors they so need to mock.

Take the new poster boy for the International Association of Atheistic Idiots, one Lukáš Nový, as an example:

A man who wears a sieve on his head for religious reasons has been allowed to wear his bizarre headgear on his official identity card.

Prankster Lukas Novy, from Brno in the Czech Republic, claims that his Pastafarian faith means he has to wear the sieve at all times.

Officials ruled that turning down Novy’s request would be a breach of the country’s religious equality laws.

Sievehead: NovyBrno City Hall spokesman Pavel Zara explained: ‘The application complies with the laws of the Czech Republic where headgear for religious or medical reasons is permitted if it does not hide the face.’

Novy claims to be a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, when emerged in the USA as spoof on organised religion.

According to its tongue-in-cheek website their ‘only dogma … is the rejection of dogma’.


To the one, the Daily Mail article demonstrates just how stupid Czech officials are, but, to the other, it also reminds us just how sleazy the organized atheism movement actually is.

And more than anything, it’s the sleaze factor that really screws the movement. Then again, it’s what they want. Much like many organized religions, it’s a job-security racket, to deliberately raise demons in order to publicly play the hero and slay them.

It would seem, on its face, rather quite silly to join a religion that claims its only dogma is the rejection of dogma, and then claim for yourself that this rejection of dogma dogmatically obliges you to wear kitchenware on your head. But, you know, perhaps that is all part of the testament: Logic and basic decency not required.

That is hardly a bureaucratic concern for officials in Brno, but it does speak to the underlying nature of Pastafarianism in particular, and the larger atheistic movement in general. This is a philosophical sector that produces nothing affirmative. Perhaps someday that will change, but for now it’s too much fun to think up new excuses for acting like an asshole.

But in the end, there is much Mr. Nový can take pride in. At the top of the list ought to be the achievement of using a local government to empower bigotry in the name of diversity. And right beneath that is the achievement of having made himself a poster boy for atheism around the world. Of course, number three would be reminding everyone just what this atheistic movement really is, a bunch of ignorant sieveheads.

Or is that wrong? Sievehead neighbors are free to correct me on the point, but for the last twenty years all I’ve heard out of my atheistic friends is a smorgasboard of recycled anti-identification. I know more about what any given atheist doesn’t believe than what he or she does. And if my atheistic neighbors would like to finally do away with that stupid assertion that there is no morality without God, they might take the time actually address the question.

The whole point of this kind of movement is self-empowerment through bigotry.

Sieveheads want to be the new Tinfoils.

Diderot might weep; Nový and his fellows have enthusiastically leapt into a long-recognized trap.

Sievehead: AlmFor sieveheads, it’s not about whether or not God exists, or anything like that. It’s simply a ruse for self-empowerment through bigotry. And Mr. Nový, like Niko Alm of Austria before him, wants to be the poster boy.

One could, I suppose, have worse goals.

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