Facebook: My four-minute (mis)adventure

Why trust such incompetent geeks as Facebook?Well, that was quick.

My Facebook experience lasted all of four minutes. Maybe four and half. Let’s compromise and call it four and twenty, but that would be a blessing because th folks over at Facebook are smoking something. Unfortunately, it’s most likely crack.

The story so far: So a friend emails a Facebook invitation one day, and I let it sit around for a while because I don’t really have much interest in these sites. But I came across it while moving a bloc of old messages out of my inbox, and decided, “You know? Why not? I don’t always have to be a Luddite. Just because everything about social networking that isn’t a band or writer’s promotional page is completely stupid doesn’t mean I should keep holding out. It can’t all be as worthless as it seems.” Blah, blah, blah. So it goes. What the hell ever. Obviously, I was wrong.

Anyway, as some of you might have guessed, I list my name as “B.D.”

Doesn’t matter what it stands for, does it?

Anyway, listing my name properly is, apparently, impossible for the folks at Facebook. No. It has to be “B.d.”

I mean, I tried to change the information. Tried a few times. Tried “B. D.”, “B.D.” and “BD” as my first name. Tried “B” and “D” for first and middle; after all, that’s what the initials are. Tried “B.” and “D.” as first and middle. Nope. Facebook can’t do it. Apparently, such a simple idea is too complicated for the eggheads crackheads at Facebook to figure out. And, you know, it’s kind of like the guys at a local restaurant that can’t tell one meat from another. If those morons can’t figure out the difference between beef and chicken, I don’t trust them to cook the stuff.

And so it is with Facebook. If you can’t figure out how to list my name in such a simple manner, I don’t trust you to possess any information about me.

Of course, Facebook doesn’t ever delete that information, so now it’s stuck in their system, for their crackhead staff to use or abuse however the hell they want.

So my advice to people is that if they haven’t undertaken their own Facebook adventure, don’t.

And a note to the people at Facebook: You’re not smart.

Seriously. This isn’t difficult. You are the only website I’ve ever encountered that has this problem. And yet you pathetic morons, you absolute wastes of life, you whose best contribution to the human species would be self-administered at the end of a rope, run one of the most popular websites in the world.

Ominous, indeed.