Ringing in the New Year

This is the whole of the article from NewsCore:

A police officer is facing termination after having noisy sex in a church tower above a packed congregation attending New Year’s Day morning mass.

Father Nikalaus Maier was preaching to early morning churchgoers when noises from the belltower interrupted him.

He telephoned the police when the lovers came down looking sheepish and scurried swiftly out the door, buttoning their clothes as they left.

A church official said: “My wife sat in the back near the vestry and called me to tell me about the grunts and groans that disturbed the sermon. It was scandalous.”

The police officer faces almost certain dismissal.

Write your own punch line.

A couple of obvious jokes: Bald bespectacled bears

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy … er … yeah.

Really.

Or, according to the Daily Mail:

You’d have thought a fur coat would have been the ultimate bear necessity.

But not for the unfortunate Dolores who has lost all her body hair and has just been left with a few tufts around her head.

Vets have been left baffled by the condition of the bespectacled bear, who lives at a zoo in Leipzig.

And Dolores isn’t the only one. The sudden hair loss has affected all female bears at the zoo.

Some experts believe it could be due to a genetic defect though the animals do not seem to be suffering from any other affliction.

It’s something of an unfortunate oddity, for certain. While the zoo is enjoying some increased attention for its bald bespectacled bears, the animals themselves are suffering rashes and skin inflammation, as well.

We can only hope for the best, but yeah. Charles Mudede comments that, “A bear without hair looks like something from outer space”. I must disagree. I saw Savage Planet on basic cable, and I know that extraterrestrial giant killer bears have fur.

Best wishes to an Old Salt

Happy birthday, Dad.

Um … right. Some sort of wise or charming quote should go here.

Oh.

Wooden spoons! Wooden spoons!

You don’t really need to read this

So-called “reality television” seems to have settled into two camps: game shows, and dating shows.

Okay, look, when it was The Bachelor and such, it was an understandable variation on a theme. By the time we got to Bret Michaels’ Rock of Love?

Right.

Quote of the Week – Rick Ungar on Obama

Via True/Slant:

It is often suggested that when someone is treated as an adult, they will, in turn, act like an adult. President Obama is doing his part – maybe the rest of us should get on board and do ours.

(Okay, technically that was last week, but when am I ever current?)