Let’s call it … um … er … yeah.

Anyway, over at AZCentral, the headline for Bill Miller’s McClatchy article is, “Police: Burglar forces elderly woman to make him sandwich“. And there is something … um … er … yeah. Something about that. I mean, make your own headline. I did.

A 39-year-old man has confessed to breaking into the home of an elderly woman early Monday in Fort Worth, Texas, and forcing her to watch as he performed a sex act on himself, police said.

Mitchel Wayne Stewart also ordered the 77-year-old woman to make him a sandwich before he fled with her cell phone, police said.

Oh. Damn. Proper. That was the word I was looking for. I kept hanging up on dignified, or even nice. (As in, “That’s a nice way of putting it.”) Except, well, obviously … er, um … yeah.

So let me get this straight: You break into a house, get yourself off in front of an old woman, compel her to make you a sandwich, then steal her mobile phone and leave?

Like I said, write your own headline. After all … oh, right.